Forgive
by fragilewreck
Summary: A missing moment between Edward and Renesmee & A missing moment between Edward and Rosalie
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Many thanks to voldemortperfumes for beta'ing :)**

_**Forgive**_

I watched her while she watched. Curiously, childishly, innocently. Everything around her fascinated and surprised her. A new world, big and colorful, yet, she understood it all.

Renesmee.

Her thoughts were full of innocence and wonder. And Bella. The love she felt for her mother was almost as strong as mine. Almost. For I nearly sacrificed this bundle of life in the name of that love. And while the danger had been indeed great and while common sense demanded that the baby die so that the mother can live, I couldn't help but feel guilty and unworthy as a father for considering it myself. Gut wrenching guilt that ate my insides and blinded me with a force so great like only parents get to feel.

I watched as she squinted her eyes like there was something she couldn't understand. I listened to her thoughts and chuckled as she wondered why our voices were so much louder compared to how they were when she was inside the womb. Slowly and surprisingly she figured it out on her own, again making me gape at the growing maturity in her.

And then her eyes were on me. And that strange, unfamiliar and too painful guilt emerged once again making it hard for me to look back at her. And yet, her eyes held me captivated. Because those eyes were so familiar, so deep and warm, like a sunny and happy day without worries and pain. Bella's eyes.

She kept staring at me like she was examining me, testing me. I couldn't quite decipher her thoughts because even though she was maturing faster that any human being, she still couldn't form correct words and sentences. She had probably picked up one or two words from what she heard while Bella still bore her.

_Daddy?_

My head snapped up like I had been hit by a lightning. Daddy?

She was still looking at me with a curious expression probably matching my own. It had been almost a day since she was born and she had grown vastly. Bella was still transforming but had shown no signs whatsoever. I knew she would be fine, Alice had seen it, but the pain she probably felt had evaded my body and I was suffering too.

I could not bear to interact with Renesmee. Ever since she was born everybody got to spend time with her. Mostly Rosalie and Jacob but also Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Emmett, even Jasper who was still not strong enough around humans. I suppose Renesmee being half human helped Jasper restrain. I knew Alice wouldn't let him around her if he wasn't completely certain of himself.

And yet I, her father, the husband of her mother, couldn't bring myself to approach her.

I was surprised she hadn't come to the conclusion that one of the other Cullens was her father. All three men had been constantly around her, helping, fetching, carrying, doing everything a father should be doing, what _I_ should be doing. But she hadn't.

Her thoughts were still hard to understand but she started using pictures not only for her words but for her emotions as well. I could tell she was content but she was also impatient wanting to see her mother and father. And right now, looking at me, her picture-feeling was hope.

She _wanted_ me to be her father.

The happiness and complete bliss that surged through me was immediately quenched by the sudden, burning guilt that reappeared once again. That tiny, innocent, loving and happy child might not have been here because of me, because I didn't have faith in Bella, in Bella and me.

There could have been nothing to calm me down, to make me stop worrying for Bella's safety but I could at least have been more supportive, I could have accepted the inevitable because it was indeed inevitable. How could we have lived with ourselves if this miracle of life had not happened?

My pained expression seemed to have a negative impact on Renesmee's mood as well, for I could read her thoughts turning sadder and sadder. She scrunched up her nose and I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Don't cry."

I couldn't help myself. I couldn't watch those beautiful brown pools of innocence tear up. I tentatively started walking closer to her, wanting to warn her in case she didn't want me near her.

Her tears stopped as well as I did. I watched carefully to see if she was frightened but the hope she felt before only got more intense. Slowly she stretched up her arms, opening and closing her little palms, indicating that she wanted me to hold her.

I held my breath, not because of the temptation of her blood but because I was suddenly a nervous wreck. I distinctly remembered snorting at what some fathers thought when their child was brought to life - how immature, how foolish they seemed to me. And yet here I was, nervous, scared and completely paralyzed. I finally understood why this feeling was so powerful that it proved frightening.

How far would I go to protect this tiny form of life?

Anywhere. Everywhere. Anything for her.

I started walking again, seeing as she was getting impatient, and squirming in her seat. I finally reached her and, like I was picking feather, I softly grabbed her under her arms and brought her slowly but steadily in front of my face.

I could see more clearly her features now and it surprised me how much Bella and me I could see in her. Her hair, her lips, her nose were all me but her eyes were so intense and so warm that made you forget about everything else. Exactly like Bella.

A tiny, stretched hand started to approach me slowly, unsurely. And like a feather, it finally rested upon my cheek, warmth flooding me, all of me. She didn't fear the cold stone she was touching, she didn't even flinch. But according to the thoughts flooding her mind she was happy. Content. Loving.

And just like that, all my torturous thoughts and feelings went away like dust in the wind. My entire being was consumed by the powerful feeling of complete adoration. My lips turned up and my eyes were definitely a lighter shade of gold for I felt my love for her radiate from my every pore. Love that matched her own towards me.

I gently brought her towards me, wanting to feel her against me. She didn't protest, instead, she eagerly snuggled up against my cold chest like it was the most comfortable pillow. Her other hand fell upon my other cheek and suddenly I wasn't the one invading her mind but _she_ was. My eyes popped open and I stared wide eyed at her.

Images of sorts started passing before my eyes, like I was present when they happened. Rosalie rocking her softly to sleep, Emmett tickling her while laughing his infamous guffaw, Alice's changing her into new clothes, Jasper's tight but genuine smile at her…Memories that somehow she bestowed upon me in an abnormal and unknown way. And there was that memory, painful both to me and her, of Bella, dripping with blood and screaming in utter and unbearable pain. The remembrance fell upon me like a destructive missile.

I winced unconsciously and suddenly I was brought back in present, my little girl sad and worried about her mother's fate. As was I.

And there it was, the unworthiness, the guilt, the regret for never being supportive, for not wanting my own daughter. Renesmee seemed to sense my change of mood because her focus was now on me, on my sad expression that appeared to sadden her even more.

"Forgive me," I whispered with all the emotion a regretful and forever guilty father could master.

My eyes closed and I knew if I was capable of tears, they would be pouring unstoppably from my eyes at this moment. Never before had I felt so vulnerable, so utterly weak but before this tiny form of life that I so dearly loved yet didn't think was worthy of.

"Forgive me," I choked out once again for no matter how many times I said it, it wouldn't be enough to quench the feeling of self-castigation.

Soft and warm hands were now on my neck, patting me in an almost comforting manner. I opened my eyes and was met by those strikingly beautiful, brown eyes of my daughter. _My daughter._

Memories and thoughts of her once again invaded in my mind, only this time they weren't of the past, but of the future, of what she hoped for us. Images of Bella, as well as she could remember her, next to me and between us her, Renesmee, smiling at both of us.

And then I knew.

I was forgiven.

All the guilt and regret was in the past, pain and sorrow now gone. It was of no good to stick to passed misfortunes, to bring up all that caused us only pain. There was hope, there was life, there was _us_.

_A family._

At loss for words, I brought her little head closer to me and kissed it. Her brown eyes lifted to meet mine and the way she stared at me, with a manner expressive of knowing everything that went through my mind and heart, corroborated everything I ever wanted to know.

"I love you, baby girl," I whispered with emotion, "more than any father has ever loved his daughter."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Hello again. Another sort of missing moment came to me and i thought i'd share it with you. This one is between Edward and Rosalie, because i was really bummed that we didn't get an actual confrontation between them in Breaking Dawn. Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

It was only a matter of hours now. I could hear her heart beating faster and faster, and if my heart could beat, it would surely follow the same tempo. I had waited for this…too long. Though I considered myself to be a patient man, my patience failed me at the sight of my wife lying still, slowly transforming into a vampire.

A _vampire_.

How long ago was it that I swore I would never end her life? That I wouldn't turn her into the monster I have become? When did I fail to keep my promise to protect her with every fiber of my being?

"_I really hate this white icky stuff._"

Renesmee.

I chuckled to myself. Ever since she had tasted blood, she refused to eat that admittedly disgusting white icky stuff which was in fact milk. I could hear her thoughts more clearly now, and while her joyous mind was endearing, her constant growth was not.

We were at a loss. None of us knew what to make of it, none of us dared to voice our similar fear out loud. If she continued to grow up at this rate, what would happen in a few years?

I shook my head in an attempt to throw away the unpleasant thoughts. No matter what was going to happen, one thing was for certain - Bella and I would face it together. _Together_.

My only wish at the moment was for Alice to tell me the exact time of her waking up. I was by Bella's side constantly but I usually found some time for my daughter. Now, however, after Alice all so happily announced that it would soon be time, I could not stand even a minute away from her. I had to be there when she opened her eyes.

I was sadly impatient and torn between staying there and checking on Renesmee. I hadn't seen her all day and although I could hear her and everyone else's thoughts about her, I wanted, no, I _needed_ to see her. It seemed like she had that affect on everyone but it would appear that I was the most infatuated by her.

Carlisle and Esme doted on her like there was no tomorrow. Esme's unconditional love and Carlisle's compassion made them the greatest grandparents a child could need.

Alice could be described as the cool aunt, as humans would say. She was dressing her up, fixing her hair this way and that, making her giggle whenever possible. And Jasper was always close by, enjoying the mere warmth and happiness that overflowed them both. He still wasn't used to the human blood like the rest of us, but he was dealing with it just fine. More than once I had seen a look on his face that implied he wished that he was able to give Alice a baby as well.

Emmett was unsurprisingly the funny uncle with his booming laugh that always scared little Renesmee at first, but then made her laugh with mirth at his stupid, though funny, grimaces.

And Rosalie… well, I didn't really want to deal with her. I heard from others how she and Jacob fought often about Renesmee, but that only reminded me of the Jacob situation which was also something I didn't want to deal with just yet.

I had seethed a warning to him, a warning that he'd better remember or he would rest in pieces under the Cullen residency. I knew about imprinting, I knew he had no choice and deep down I also knew there was no way he would mistreat her, but she was my little girl. He'd be dead in the blink of an eye if he dared to even have a single thought that was unnatural between a baby girl and a seventeen-year-old dog.

But still, I did not have the strength to deal any more with him when my wife was still lying unconscious, transforming into a vampire. We would deal with this together when the time came.

Rosalie, however, constantly tried to approach me and talk to me. I could hear her thoughts, she was trying to be nice, something which required a lot of effort for her. She was trying to make amends but I was not ready to even let her talk to me, much less forgive her. And since I could hear her thoughts, it was really hard for me to forgive someone who still did not realize what she had done wrong.

I touched Bella's limp hand which was getting colder as time passed. I traced each finger, stopping to the one with the ring, my mother's ring on it. I remembered our wedding, the time we spent on the isle of Esme before the drama of the pregnancy was on us.

No, I was definitely not a patient man any more. I wanted her to wake up right now.

"Hey."

I looked up, startled. I was so lost in my thoughts that I had heard no one approaching me.

"Can I come in?" Rosalie asked.

My immediate thought was to tell her no. The memory of her actions as well as her thoughts during Bella's pregnancy was still fresh, and I didn't want her anywhere near Bella any more.

But her thoughts now were filled with love for my daughter, even some affection for Bella.

"Sure," I said and I almost regretted it as I saw her standing next to the woman I loved.

Her head was full with questions about Bella, when she would wake up, if the transformation was going smoothly, if she was in pain.

"Alice said she'll be awake in less than ten hours but she can't be sure," I replied at her thoughts and scowled because my dear sister could be so certain about things that meant little to me, but so uncertain about the important ones.

"Good," Rosalie muttered.

I didn't have to wait long for her thoughts to turn to unpleasant memories and meaningless apologies.

"Edward, you know I just…"

"Save it, Rosalie," I cut her off because she just didn't get it.

I wasn't angry with her because she protected my child against all odds, because she risked Bella's life for the sake of my daughter. It was the thoughts that accompanied those actions that rendered me unable to forgive her. Even if she pretended like everything was okay now, I was the only one who knew about the passing, dark and unforgivable thoughts she had during Bella's pregnancy.

Unfortunately, while she did not speak, her thoughts were too loud for me to ignore.

"_Why are you being like this? Everything is perfect now, isn't it? You have Bella and you have a daughter. Everything turned out for the best._"

"But you didn't know that," I hissed.

"So what? If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have a daughter now and Bella would never forgive you for taking away her child," she hissed back.

I paused because she was right on that part.

"Yes," I said and she seemed surprised that I caved in so easily. "I am grateful to you for protecting the child from me," I looked away in pain as the guilt pierced through me once again. Every time I looked at Renesmee, the joy of the fatherhood was always mixed with the gut wrenching guilt of what would have happened had Bella not insisted against my will.

Rosalie seemed to gloat from my admittance of my gratitude towards her.

"But that doesn't mean I will forget, Rosalie."

Her mental satisfaction was short lived, as she looked at me in question.

"While you were trying very hard to conceal your thoughts from me," I went on, "you didn't manage to hide them all."

The panic in her thoughts matched the look of panic in her expression.

"I don't know what you mean," she said quietly.

"You know, I came so close to killing you, I am not sure how I managed to hold back," I seethed remembering every time her thoughts would have me crouching for an attack. "You should thank Alice, I guess," I said and came to stand right in front of her.

She didn't waver but her thoughts did.

"Why?"

"She was the one who stopped me from tearing you to pieces. Every time you thought nothing of Bella's death as long as you'd get to have a baby, Alice saw me ripping your head off. Every time you pictured Emmett and you with Bella's baby, Alice saw me lighting you on fire. Every time you thought of Bella's death as a mere, insignificant sacrifice for the sake of you getting a child, Alice saw me turning you into nothing."

Her eyes were wide and she was backing away, ready to defend herself if I chose to attack her now.

"If Bella had died," I said with difficulty as even the thought of that happening was crippling, "there would be no one to stop me from ending you."

I turned away from her sharply, not able to look at her anymore and remember her vile thoughts that had me raging inside. It was a close call, every single time. Alice would see me, clear and certain, tearing her to pieces and burning the remains. And she would stop me every time, reminding me that Bella was still there, alive and needing me to support her through this. It wouldn't help anyone my killing of Rosalie.

"So, yes," I told her with my back to her, "I am grateful that you saved my daughter. I have no reason to kill you now, and as you are family, I will try very hard to get past this."

I turned to look at her.

"And I will try very hard to forgive you one day," I added and saw her expression relax a little. She knew better than to expect more from me, she was glad she even got that much.

With a small, uncertain smile she turned to leave but my words stopped her.

"But Rosalie," I said and she turned to look at me once more.

"I will never forget."

The pain caused by my words was difficult to discern in her thoughts, but it was there.

And then it was successfully buried and concealed.


End file.
